"I admire people that choose to shine even after all the storms that they have been through."
Well - Hi there! I hope you are doing well, and staying safe and healthy! I am actually really excited about this blog post. In normal fashion, I chugged a RedBull about an hour ago, and have a to-do list of about 20 things to handle before sunrise. Although this seems insane to just about anyone that is reading this... it's a night. in heaven for me. I have always worked best at night - and find myself pulling all-nighters just for fun every now and then. It is not because I enjoy feeling drained at the start of my day, but it is because of the feeling immediately after that. When the adrenaline starts pumping through your veins to get you through another 12 hours of being a functional human - and honestly, my serotonin and dopamine levels pop right through the roof.
I wanted to write about this "living your life to the fullest" thing because honestly... I am so frick-fracking happy right now it is unreal. I recently got a promotion at my job... hello from the DIRECTOR OF MARKETING at Irregular Exposure! We have some massive goals, and I have been working my ASS OFF to make sure we get to them. Let's be honest - if anybody can do it... it's me! However - talking about this promotion is not the premise of this blog post even though I had to sneak in the subtle brag.
I wanted to talk about living your life to the fullest, because honestly - for the past year or so I have been feeling like I am kind of just going through the motions. I was losing my passion for the fashion industry, was finding myself more stressed than enjoying myself, and was always looking at the dollar amount rather than what I wanted to feel. Now, do not get me wrong, I am building because I want to be financially stable to avoid a stressor. I am not a person that says that money doesn't buy happiness - because although it may not buy it... it certainly helps keep the sad shit at bay.
All that being said, I noticed that I was too focused on the future and not realizing that I am living in an answered prayer! Just about 5 years ago I was sitting on my mother's kitchen counter dreaming of a life in Los Angeles, California. It looks a lot different than what we had originally dreamed up - but the dreams are just the same! While making this realization and looking back to when I was happiest out here in LA and felt like I was truly FEELING every feeling; I realized that it was Quarter 4 of 2020 - about Black Friday of 2021. After that I seemed to just turn my feelings off. Now there was a lot that happened, and I still felt all of my feelings + some, but there was a different level of presence and awareness. I realized that it was because I was TRULY happy. I was exhausted from working and finishing school, was in a relationship that I was feeling fulfilled in, and I was living in my dream city. You could not convince me there was any reason for me to not be happy, and I felt every single ounce of it.
When I noticed that I was not allowing myself to feel - I did everything in my power to start feeling again. I knew there was not a switch that I could just flip, but I was doing things that forced me to feel wholeheartedly. I started going out with my friends, and living in the moment! Does that mean I kissed a man in the middle of the dancefloor without knowing his name? YES. Does that mean that I danced until my feet hurt? Yes. Does that mean I was forcing myself to go shopping, hiking, or anything that allowed me to be around the people I love? Yes! Does that mean that I was going to brunch, nights out with my friends, and dates? YES. I was doing things that brought a smile to my face, and as of this past month... I have FINALLY started feeling again! Woohoo!
I know this seems really depressing, but I feel like we go through these moments of going too numb to survive the overwhelming feeling that we are experiencing at that time. Although I went numb for a minute I came back - I got my muchness back, and all it took was me starting to live my life by my standards again - and not by everyone else's!
So, if you take nothing else from these silly little things I tell you - please make sure that you are doing things that make YOUR SOUL smile. We only have one life - and that does not mean to be reckless, but it does mean to be as authentically you as possible.
xoxo
Josephine A. Meinardus
The Next Genius of Gen Z
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