Between 17 and Everyone She Knows

Feeling behind is normal when taking the road less traveled, but truly... nobody's timeline is the same.

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I know I am not the only one that has seen the influx of proposals and expects them to only increase in the meantime. It is the holiday season after all. That being said, for anyone that is my age reading this blog; please read it to the end and twice if you have to. YOU ARE NOT BEHIND. YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT. YOU ARE DOING WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. THAT IS NOT THE BEST THING FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND OR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. THAT IS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.

Okay, now that I got the screaming out of the way to make sure you get the rest of this through your head! I need you to know that feeling behind is normal. I mean if you are anything like me your entire family lineage is full of high school sweethearts and having at least 2 kids by 21. Not that there is anything wrong with that. However, if you choose to go outside of that path it has a tendency to feel wrong.

It doesn't help that everyone you grew up with is getting married to people that make them over joyed (Congratulations by the way, I promise this post is not to dog at you - and please hit me up for your wedding planning needs) However, I know that every time I see a proposal of someone my age it really makes me think hard about the choices I have made. One of the biggest ones is moving out here. It's a little difficult to think about when you know that you would be one of the girls in a white dress if you would have stayed - and that you almost did just so you could live happily ever after.

Would I change a single decision I have made? No. Doesn't keep me from opening a new bottle of wine while cooking pasta for 1 on a Sunday evening though with a deep sigh. I say all of this to give you another update.

Men suck. I am officially calling off anything that even slightly resembles a relationship until at least after my birthday and truly focusing on making money and getting hot as shit while keeping my mental in check. The guy that I thought I liked in the last post? Short lived and did not deserve my time. Was tired of yet another excuse and cut it off. Was it petty? Maybe, but I truly don't have the time. Not because I want to get married and have babies anytime soon, but because it is truly a distraction with mediocracy leaking out of it. Again, all about the money and getting hot right now.

ALSO, if someone is playing a joke on me.. quit it! The other night I was taking a shower before going out for a drink and I stepped out to someone singing "Let it Snow" outside of my apartment door. Now, if you know me even SLIGHTLY - you know that I love Christmas and have already decorated my apartment with no remorse. The tree is in the window and can be seen from the street, and I had decorations on my front door. The reason this is terrifying is because it was not just a casual walking by and singing. It was a standing outside of my door for 2-3 rounds of a Christmas Carol (and it wasn't even one of my top 5) I am safe and well, but people are creepy out here! Please do not start blowing up my moms phone and telling her that I need to move back home because of this. I am laughing now, and if anything her and I will hop on FaceTime and laugh at your messages.

Last but not least... I am really flirting with the idea of my phone on DND for 2023. Now, obviously people will be able to get through to me when needed, but I have gotten to where I have nights or weekends of DND. It helps my mental, keeps me sane, and truly makes me happier. I don't hear that dings of anxiety, don't stress that someone is blowing up my phone, and don't feel like I have to save someone for a hot second. I always put everyone ahead of me and when my phone is on Do Not Disturb I do not have to even have the thought cross my mind. Don't worry i'll tell momma before I put it on. I do not want to relive this last January when I came home and took a nap while my phone was on silent - Not only did everyone in my family call and text me, but my momma went so far as to have Terrance call Kii to come and check on me! 😂 He did come over and make sure I was alright, but he also told them on the phone that I was probably just sleeping. Next thing you know Kii is next to my bed gently shaking me awake, and seeing that my phone was still ringing and completely silent. Haha good times. We laugh about it now.

Anyways, this was more of a cheery blog post of just some stuff that was stuck in my head. I hope you are doing well, take that mental health break (I did and it was NEEDED), enjoy the holiday season (Don't forget about the Thanksgiving Day Parade), and please DO NOT FEEL BEHIND! YOU ARE DOING GREAT! All in all, the man of my dreams is just gonna have to knock on my door because I am not searching anytime soon, so don't stress. It will all happen when it should. What do all of our momma's say? Ah yes, All in God's timing.

Much love,

Josephine A. Meinardus