"You did not wake up today to be mediocre"
Oh my goodness! Guys, I am almost one fourth of the way through my first quarter of college. Talk about a holy crap moment! I was prepared for my life to go by in a flash, but I have been living in California for almost a month now and I am still working on it feeling like home. However, I am making progress with Halloween decorations and becoming best friends with my roommates!
Let's backtrack for a hot second. When I was in Arkansas, I had a tendency to pick on my friends in college because they were talking about how stressful it was and how the workload was killing them. I thought they were just being dramatic, and then I started college. I. Am. Dying. The workload is making it hard to breathe but it is helping it feel like old times. The busy Josephine that barely has time to talk to her loved ones because she is jumping from one place to another. Well, that girl is back and is kicking ass if I do say so myself. Not only am I dominating all of my classes but I am socializing and getting to know all kinds of interesting people!
One of the things I was worried about before I came here was that I was not "worth it" if that makes any sense. I was terrified that people would not notice me like they did at home. Honestly, they didn't and that was a punch in the gut. There are a lot of people that go to this school with a very entitled attitude. Now, do not get me wrong, I feel confidence is something I have wayyyyy too much of, but I do not think I am better than anyone. Those people that have their nose raised up at me are the reason I am working harder than I have ever before. As I tell my mom this is a dog eat dog world already and I was not prepared... but, here is to picking yourself up by your bootstraps and showing everyone how this Arkansas girl does it!
If you follow my twitter you have seen just about all of my thoughts of living out here and some of them have been struggles. At one point I had posted about when people tell you that you cannot do something; it makes you want to do whatever the task is that much more. I have never had someone look at me and pretty much tell me that I cannot do anything I put my mind to. Until last week, I was telling someone my plans while I was in school. Six 3-hour classes a week, (one of those being a 9 hour class day) a job, an academic sorority that I plan to run for office in, student council, and to be able to travel to talk to students about DECA and FIDM. She looked at me and practically laughed in my face. At that moment my eyes filled with tears, not because "she hurt my feelings" but it made me angry and want to prove her wrong out of spite. I have been told that the workload is crazy. I have been told that people are worried I will work myself to death. Those comments have never stopped me before. All her comment did was make me come home and tackle 6 hours of homework and dominate a majority of the next week. It was a motivating moment but at the time I was livid. Now, when I am not wanting to do something I think of what she said, and make myself do my homework, study, create flashcards, or write a blog. Normally, this follows after a nap but in all fairness I did not show up on time for school my ENTIRE senior year so these 8 am classes are kicking me.
Oh my goodness I almost forgot to tell you! I feel you all know I have a super supportive family. Not only did they drive 48 hours round trip to take me to my dream school but they have sent me cards, care packages and Hallmark Christmas movie codes to make sure I am comfortable. But, the Carlson's have also been really supportive! Not only have I gotten a few cards with pictures of their beautiful faces but Adam came out to L.A. to see what it is all about out here! He seemed to enjoy his stay, and liked the school. He did find the rough parts of L.A. at times and would look at me and whisper, "Honey, please do not come over here by yourself..." AND he saw my favorite homeless person. I know, I know, "Josephine, do not talk to homeless people!" but, in all fairness I have never talked to this guy. We smile from a distance while he is jamming to his music and
driving around L.A. on his little wheelchair! He is living his best life and is so happy. I strive for that kind of happiness... just... in a house... Anyways! Adam had the chance to soak in what I love and I am not sure he loved it but he did not hate it so, I consider that good!
In summary these past 4 weeks in California have been hectic, hard, emotional, and so much more. But, I am 100% positive that this was the right choice for me and that I am about to have the best 4 years of my life.
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